I've been kinda nervous about sharing any of this because then whoever reads this will know what is in my heart. Lately, I've been convicted of where I really am with God and why I seek Him. So often I find myself wanting to read my bible to have a better marriage, a happier family, for things or to try and justify why I should get my way. But at the heart of it, I don't think I have been really seeking God for who He is. This life is meaningless unless it is encompassed in His love for His glory. There is no true justice without Him, nor is there true love apart from Him. The way that the flowers bloom and the way that the sun sets, the way that the birds chirp, the lions roar, the dolphins swim, the shark attacks, all are amazing creations that God has done for His glory, but mere drops in a bucket from the vast ocean of His greatness. So often I find myself getting caught up in things that are meaningless. How am I going to get the cleaning done, the laundry done, get to work, finish the budget, do all these things...mere toils of this earth, instead of enjoying all that He has given and worshiping Him through all things. He doesn't give us things so that we can cry about it and then just pass off for someone else to do. He gives us things so that through perserverance and encouragement of the scriptures we may have hope. This hope doesn't disappoint because of Christ. If His hope disappointed us, I think we should reevaluate what we are hoping in. Is it carnal, earthly pleasures that will only last for a short time? Is it property, money, or stature? Is it power, prestige, prosperity, luxury and comfort? This flesh that battles against our spirit is fighting for these things, but the spirit is wanting so much more that these things cannot satisfy. Only Christ can because only He has given us peace with God. So often we pray to "God" thinking we will then get our way. But do we trully know Him and His peace? We are covered in robes that are ripped and ragged, stained and destroyed. Our bodies are bent to selfishness, scarred from impurities and dripping with deceit. And we think that we can just cry out to God, in the state we are in, and He will let us have our way? Would we dare go to a black tie event in a torn up shirt we sleep in? (And that is playing it down.) He has declared us to be an enemy because of the wrongs we have done against Him. BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, sent Christ to make peace. And with that peace He robes us in rightness, so now we can cry, "Abba, Father" in time of need! We can say, "Lord help! I am weak and afflicted, burdened and beaten!" He gives us His Spirit thru Christ so we can know what His will is and know His love and eternal life now! Oh, the riches of His mercy! So, for those that read this, may you be convicted of seeking things and the results of things rather than seeking Him who created you, as I am convicted of such things. Our world is deteriorating, our economy dwindling, our bodies decaying, but the Lord be our stay.